Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Goodbye November, welcome December

November sure went out with a bang for us and not in a celebratory way. I spent Thanksgiving day in the ER thanks to this "New Mexican flu" as I've dubbed it that I got from Ellery. All of my life I have never had a stomach flu which included pains that were akin to childbirth. On the second day of my said pain as I sat rocking and moaning just as I did when I was in labor with Willow we decided that there was no choice but to go to the hospital....again. Bear in mind that we still had no running car until this past weekend so we had to wait on a ride to take us there...and come pick us up late that night. It embarrasses me to say that we have been to various hospitals more times in this past year of leaving Florida than we have in the nine years since Ellery was born. It is also ironic to consider that I have never had to go to the ER during any of the long stints when I actually had health insurance....only when we haven't had it. I usually pride myself on being that person who never goes to the doctor or the hospital. This year it has just happened. Debilitating pain and bloody injuries (when Willow fell off her bike in Carlsbad) are sort of necessary ER visits in my opinion.

So it has been interesting to think about how my perspective on things has changed since we settled and moved out of the rv. I'm starting to believe that living on the road is a way of almost cheating the inertia of day to day living and of course fostering an ability to live in the present. When you are always moving, even if it is only a month at a time, there is no attachment to anything there. You only have open road ahead of you. It is easy to let go of the past, anticipate a completely unknown future, and live fully in the present. The real trick is to have this same mindset when you are setting still and I am experiencing that now. Some of the optimism and promise we had when we first got here is starting to fall into drudgery again, the same mood I sensed from people immediately when we removed ourselves from rv parks where there is a certain lightness you can't find amongst working class folks.

So we are looking forward to an inner light for the month of December to outshine the dreariness of a tourist dependent economy that isn't so great right now but is what we rely on to pay the bills. What was once paycheck to paycheck in the corporate world is day to day now. We start celebrating Hanukah today as part of our third grade curriculum. We are taking it easy with school this month so that we can fully enjoy the spirit of the season, baking, crafts, and some of the winter festivals. I am liking the idea of celebrating all of these Victorian inspired mini events of the season instead of just one big bang at Christmas as our culture is accustomed to. Reclaiming holiday traditions which also focus more on inner work than materialism is something absolutely worth reviving in modern society.

The sun rises over the mountains and I'm hoping we can wash away the ugliness of November as we try to capture the magic of December.