Readjusting to sitting still

I apologize for the delay in posting but there have been computer issues in terms of getting the right adaptor to move the computer from the rv into the house. We have been in our cabin for almost three weeks now...hard to believe it has been that long. It is very beautiful out here on the mesa. There are 360 degree mountain views, wonderful weather (for now, hehe), peace and quiet. The only thing that hasn't been peaceful has been our minds lately. Settling into the house has definitely brought up some emotional turmoil. It's funny because when you live on the road or in an rv park you are constantly surrounded by very laid back and happy people. They are retired after all! Or perhaps veterans or disabled or on vacation or some single person who has just found their niche on how to live nomadic on a minimal transient income, a juggling act which has been a challenge for this family of four.

So you move back into a house and suddenly your neighbors and interactions with people change. They too are caught up in the drudgery of work or trying to support a family and your social dynamics change. When you are passing through life is so carefree but when you stand still suddenly you are answering all of these questions to others or just your own inner dialogue. I let it get the best of me when we first got here...that sense of panic of oh crap, what did we do? Did we make the right choice? The job thing has been very ugly lately. As soon as we settled Riki really started beating the pavement and things haven't been promising so far. Companies in his engineering expertise say that he has the best resume' they have ever seen but of course due to the economy they aren't hiring. We both got real down when he interviewed for a cashier job at the local health food store...and they hired somebody else. Right now a hospitality job is probably the most promising and we do have some leads on that. We'll see. Rent is cheap. Cost of living is minimal so it isn't terrible but it is always worrisome to be out of work for so long. It has chipped away at his self esteem...reading the news articles (I tell him to stay away from) about how these people need to get a job instead of extending unemployment. That's really hard to hear when you've been trying for over a year and your field is dried up. Let's be honest. There are some places hiring. Do I want to move my family to D.C and live in a crime filled city just to have a good paying job? No. We keep reminding ourselves that we have made certain choices in life for a reason. We both agree that there is no way in heck we will ever move back to the city and toxicity we left behind, to pay even more rent than we are paying now in a beautiful quiet place. If I've got nothing else from this experience, that would be number 1.

It is all about that impermanence thing which can be so hard to accept. The ego wants to know what will happen in the future which of course is impossible. The ego wants a nice home that one can stay in indefinitely without a worry about money, a place where one can raise chickens and have a garden. The art is to let go of that...as I've heard some say "let go and let god". Meditation helps. Adequate sleep helps. Realizing that all others, even those with stable jobs in happy houses are suffering helps.

So the good news is that by the end of the month Riki will have wall space at the local co-op gallery. He is preparing his pieces now and has met with the owner. She says they are planning lots of promotions to get the ski valley folks to buy their art when winter comes. Perhaps this is the time for him to focus on his creative endeavors. It can be hard to truly appreciate what a luxury that is when you are worried about money but I'm thinking that is what he is meant to do right now. This is an opportunity that would not be possible where we are from or even remotely viable with an area already saturated with wannabe photographers. This is where the truly moneyed people come to buy art. I will keep my fingers crossed.

Getting ready to start the homeschooling at the beginning of the month...a lot more preparation for third grade. There is a cool pyramid Michael Reynolds build that I told Ellery we can read our Old Testament stories in with a lantern. Then to my amazement there is an already built lean to behind our property that will be perfect for our sukkot this fall. For those of you who are clueless we are studying Old Testament and Jewish festivals this year as part of our curriculum.

So we wait and see what happens. We are gearing up for cooler weather...I've got the long underwear and our fake fireplace heater to supplement the propane. I'm anxious to start up the school year so the kids will be back on a schedule and I will be a bit more busy....and lots of knitting, oh yes, lots and lots of knitting.