Monday, December 7, 2009

Living between spaces

It has been crazy living between the house and rv lately. Many of our clothes, books, and even pantry items are in there. As soon as I move something into the rv I think I won't need like a casserole dish for instance, I have to go back in there at 7 a.m in the rain to get it to bake something for Ellery's school. It is starting to get a bit tedious. I'm glad we only have less than two weeks to go before we move out of here for good. The house still feels like total disarray. It is hard for me to sit down and focus on other things because I constantly feel like there is something I should be doing or working to get rid of while it is still in the house. A lot of it is Riki's and not mine. There is some method to his madness which I suspect is ultimately a sort of procrastination but I still feel the burden of it all around me. Then there are things I still need to get to people I'm giving them to but can't yet...and then there is still the almost new furniture I can't seem to sell to anybody to save my life. I may seriously consider a storage space if we don't sell any of it.

I've been trying to imbue some holiday decorating as much as I can considering. Birthdays are over so I can put that aside and focus on Christmas. Our nature table is lovely, even if it is just a shelf in our still somewhat cluttered bookcase. We bought a tiny tree today, anticipating that we won't have much space to put it in the rv. We'll figure something out and it should be interesting. I promise pictures. For now it is on our coffee table against the window.

Nevertheless there is nothing like going into my son's waldorf classroom to make me feel completely inept at holiday decorating, lol. Of course his teacher is like the matriarch and founder of the school so I expect nothing less than the best from her. I had a meeting this morning over there and I was immediately struck with how warm and cozy the classroom was. All of the children had little St. Nicholas gifts on their wooden desks like oranges, nuts, and a sprig of evergreen. The nature table was beautiful as always and lit with the warm glow of a salt rock lamp. The chalkboard had a stunning drawing of a very tall St. Nick with vibrant red and white. The chalkboard itself was half shrouded in a red velvet curtain.....and another chalkboard on the side wall had an elaborate drawing with a shepherd and falling stars.

As lovely as it all was it just made me think about how uninviting my house is right now. It doesn't feel warm or cheery or cozy. The small touches are nice but not enough to overcome the rest of the clutter. I need to relax and just let it go. I know that. It won't be much better in an rv with limited space, even with much less stuff. Sure, it feels more inviting right now because we aren't actually living in there but we shall see how that all plays out. Instead of worrying over waldorf guilt I need to be focusing on something more important which is planning for our homeschooling journey. I can never be done with preparing for that.

In the back of my mind I think that all the little steps to downsizing and getting rid of things will leave us with much less stress than just doing it all at once. It may seem like there is a lot left to do but I guess it isn't so bad. If I could just get someone to take the big furniture....