Back to survival mode

Well, Riki quit his job last weekend. In his defense he has never walked out on a job before. In the whole time we have been married this was only his second job, the first one he was laid off for after about ten years. The owners of Antonio's restaurant are infamous in this town for being unprofessional, unethical, and even not paying their employees at times. Virtually the entire hospitality industry here has worked for them, most only lasting a day or a week. So I guess it says something that he lasted longer than six months. I can't say I blame him and I wasn't the one dealing with being humiliated on a day to day basis so I have to defend his position, even if it has put me in a new state of anxiety. He is already looking for new jobs. We have discovered since we've been here that the key to getting hired is knowing people and since he now knows people we hope that will work in its favor.

Of course now I have insomnia, very well aware that we have a multitude of choices and aren't "stuck" anywhere in this life but not sure which choice is best, or if we will be graced with the luxury of being where we want to be. I decided last night in my hours of not sleeping that I am sure that I do not want to move back to the city. Any city. I have often fantasized about living in a modern urban environment where you can walk everywhere or take public transportation but I think I'm pretty over that now. I have experienced how living in the country has removed us from so many toxic forms of media and commercialization that I'm not interested in going back to it, not even for more money. I know we don't think much about it when we are surrounded by all of these influences but getting away from it gives you a lot of perspective. Back in Florida if I were taking a trip to the grocery store for instance, I would probably turn on the local commercial radio station, pass billboards advertising all sorts of things, many inappropriate for children to see, pass commercially owned shopping malls, big box stores, and of course a multitude of people in sports cars and designer clothes looking to see and be seen. The kids down the street would play violent video games, carry cell phones, and talk incessantly about tv idols. We just don't have that here and are so blessed for it to be quite honest.  The way I see it my kids have plenty of time to become adults, get out there and decide for themselves if they think their time is best spent watching American Idol or shopping at the mall, but during their most tender and impressionable years they are much better off without it.

All of this is great but will we have the luxury to actually stay in the country? I just don't know. Job probabilities are obviously better in a larger city with Riki's engineering background although there still wasn't anything when we were traveling a year ago. He would be an asset to any restaurant if they would give him a chance but this place is tight knit, sometimes hard to crack into without the right connections. So I don't know what will happen. I'm stubborn so I'll wait and see. One of our friends said something that I think is the sentiment of a lot of folks who live out here. "I'd rather struggle out here than go back to the city."